The greatest power you could have in life comes neither from limitless resources nor top-notch skill levels acquired by your super intelligence. The greatest power you could have in life comes from astute knowledge of those around you – the ability to read people like a book. If you understand the working of a mind, you can control (and deceive) it. We are often blinded by our own narcissism. It is our natural tendency to project our own desires and values on other people, as if they were merely our reflections. Falling to understand the ways they are not like us, we are surprised when their actions collide with our beliefs. We offend and alienate people, then blame them, not our failure to understand them, for what happened.
It is not too hard to read a person. The first thing is to get over the idea that people are impenetrable mysteries and that only knowing some secret tricks, guarded carefully by the intelligent communities (CIA, FBI…), will let you peek into their souls. The reason people seems mysterious is because we learn to hide our true feelings and intentions from an early age. Remember elementary school? We all had that girl or boy we secretly worshipped but never talked to. If we went around showing how we felt, we would make ourselves vulnerable to mockery, and if we always spoke what we think, we would offend a lot of people. So as we grow up, concealing our thoughts becomes our second nature.
This deliberate habit makes the mind reading game challenging but not impossible. Although people consciously struggle to conceal their thoughts, they unconsciously want to reveal themselves. Hiding how we feel in social situations is tiring; being able to freely express ourselves is a relief. We secretly want people to know who we are, even (or especially) our dark side. Even while we struggle to oppress this hidden desire, subconsciously we are always sending out signals that reveal a part of what is going on inside (scientifically proven) – slips of the tongue, an unusual movement like reach for the ears, tones of voice, nervous twitches, a look in the eyes that contradicts our words, , and….. most often: the things we say after a few drinks J.
Night and day, people give off signals that reveal their thoughts and desires. If we do not pick them up, it is simply because we are not paying attention. The reason: we are locked up in our own worlds, listening to our internal dialogue, obsessed with feeding our egos. When we drop the self-interest and see people for who they are, unaffected by our desires, we become more receptive to their signals. It's the ability to let go of our ego, to submerge ourselves in the other person's mind. When you do, you will be surprised at how much you pick up on people when you shut off your incessant interior dialogue. Now you have many pieces of valuable, unfiltered information from which you can put together an accurate picture of the other person. Pay particular attention to the eyes: it requires a lot of efforts to hide the eyes' message about a person's true intention – not many people can lie with their eyes.
You wonder why I talk about this. The reason is I'm having a boring day. I am at a bookstore now. I picked up this book from the shelves two hours ago. I have been skimming it and watching people around me and writing this at the same time. No, I am not buying the book. Also no, I'm not a fan of "Lie to Me".
Hello, friends. I know what you are thinking. Haha.
-k
Hihi, hiểu về body language trong con mắt của điệp vụ FBI ạ? :D
Nghề của người ta thế, (zero or hero), lúc nào não chả phải làm việc 200% công suất, trong khi người bình thường thì cứ dặt dẹo cho sống lâu.
"know" dễ ợt, muốn là được, "understand" mới khó. :D
Kennedy đã từng nói friends are born, not made. Hồ Chí Minh có nói gái 5 con chưa hiểu hết lòng chồng. (:P) Quyển sách về con người chắc hẳn là rất dày.
I'm getting lost (kiểu nghĩ về tương lai trào nước mắt, ngẫm lại quá khứ toát mồ hôi ý ạ). How to overcome hả anh?
Posted by: Thanh | May 30, 2011 at 01:41 PM
you might be able to read, but without compassion you won't understand. and if your purpose of reading is to "control" and "deceive", well.. you objectified people like pathetic herds of lost sheep, desperate for recognition and easily manipulated. not saying that that's not true, but leave behind some dignity in your words.
Posted by: nla | August 18, 2011 at 08:18 AM